A Missionary Intuition
Published by Ant P on Mar. 17 2022
I’m 11 years old, slumped in the window seat of a Boeing 737, silently praying to myself. One hand on my black composition book, the other rests gently on my belly. I’m returning home from Kenya, Africa, where I’ve just spent a month evangelizing with 12 others and no family.

It took me 20 years to realize, but that was the moment I decided what I’d do the rest of my life.

Sitting in my airplane seat on the flight home, reflecting on the trip, I prayed: I don’t know why I got to do this, or how i’m going to do it again, but I don’t want to do anything else in this life. I will spend my life seeking evidence of God, experiences of God, and sharing those experiences with the world.

I opened my black composition book and began to write.
How do you know when your conscience is speaking to you? 

The day I decided to go to Kenya, Africa on my first ministry trip, I heard my conscience like a pang in my stomach. 

For the first time I realized I was in a moment of decision, and it felt like I was having a conversation with God: Tic, tock, tic, tock. Do I ignore this feeling? Tic, tock. If this is God telling me to go and I ignore it, maybe He won’t ever ask me again. Tic-

I tugged on my moms shirt. Mom. I think I’m supposed to go. 

Her face cringed. "What?" I feel like God wants me to go. 

"Well, go up there then."

How would you know if God was speaking to you? 
My parents taught me that my conscience was the voice of God telling me what’s right and wrong. Well, my conscience was telling me to go to Africa. I still remember my winning rebuttal that sealed their decision to let me go: How can you say no to God?

We had no money, and lived in a small farm town. It literally took the village to pay for this trip. 
My one act of faith, Christianspeak for trusting your intuition, inspired many acts of faith from the town. 

Who had more faith, me, or my parents? They had to trust an 11 year old kid’s hunch. My parents, or the village? The townspeople hardly knew me. But Christians have this inherent belief that God likes working through the unlikeliest of heroes. 

Intuition set my feet in motion. Intuition got me through the many bewildering, mystical experiences in Kenya. And intuition is how my 11 year-old heart decided to spend the rest of my life figuring out: How much of God can be experienced? How much can I know the unknowable?
Intuition speaks subtly, and I think we lose that as we get older. The saying “God speaks in mysterious ways”? Maybe God’s always speaking to us through our conscience, but we let our childhood defeats silence that part of us.  Without the heart to guide us, all that’s left is an overactive, self-conscious mind.

Maybe faith, intuition, isn’t about the specific path we choose, but about how we are electromagnetically programmed to sense many interconnecting vibrations in the world.

Still too primitive to understand it:
We call it a miracle. 
We say it’s spiritual.
We call it intuition.
We say it’s from the heart.
Well this question never left my heart: How will I continue this path of seeking Truth of God? I don’t know why or how, but I don’t want to do anything else with my life. I will spend my life seeking evidence of God, experiences of God, and sharing those experiences with the world.

Intuition is the answer to finding and following your individual path. We all have it. If you’ve lost it, tune your heart to the age when you last remember having it. Cultivate that. Let your heart be your guide once again. I have found Truth everywhere, but only while following my own intuitive path.

We are always asking life questions: How can I be more loved? What should I live for? How can I find true peace? How will I be remembered? Our questions drive our dreams: They drive our thinking, which determines our actions, determine our every outcome. 

The life story we end up with is God’s answer to the questions we spend our lives asking.

How can I live a life pursuing God, and help others experience God? The question subconsciously pushed and pulled me through many narrow passageways in life.

I didn’t stay on the path of the missionary, but I kept the missionary intuition. I now live a life sharing God experiences with people through my company GodXP. 

Faith is intuition. Intuition allows us to live life safely seeking Truth.
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Anthony Polanco

Anthony Polanco is the founder of GodXP. He is a meditation teacher, podcast host, writer, and music artist. Listen to Anthony Polanco on Spotify and Apple today. Read more at
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